By My Side
by Night Rain Illusion
Summary: If he could cure Brother by using human transmutation, then he would do it in a heartbeat. Al's determined to succeed, no matter what the consequences may be. But Ed just wants to wake up. Based on BBI!Veggie Ed. Warnings for insanity and character death.
1. Prologue: Pretty Lies

(Yeah, I'm taking a small hiatus from my usual crack Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction, instead writing about a more serious one. This one is based on the events of Bluebird's Illusion, so you will need some knowledge of the events in the game. I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.)

**By My Side**

_Prologue: Pretty Lies_

As of late, Alphonse Elric has gotten into the habit of lying.

_Dear Fuhrer Mustang,_

_I've gotten used to calling you that now, but I bet that Ed would still be referring to you as a colonel anyway! How is Miss Hawkeye, or should I say "Mrs. Mustang"? By the way, congratulations on getting married! I'm sorry that I couldn't attend the wedding. Winry told me about it though. It sounded great. _

_Brother is making a little progress. I took him outside yesterday, and for a few minutes, I saw him smiling! It took a little while coming back inside, he just looked so happy being outside in the sunny weather. _

_Maybe someday he'll tell me why he was smiling that day. _

The pen pauses, pushing down hard into the letter and causing an ink stain above the sentence.

They were such pretty lies.

After a few seconds, the pen continues.

_I think maybe he was just relaxed about living in Resembool again. No more dangerous missions and enemies to worry about anymore. Things are finally peaceful for the two of us. _

_I know that it seems hard taking care of Ed, but it's OK. I know people think he's not "there", but I know he is. He's just sleeping, that's all. And I know he'll wake up and get better someday and things will be right again._

More pretty lies.

Ed has not smiled. He probably doesn't even know what "happy" is.

A vegetative state. Most people don't ever get better from things like that.

Sleeping? Ed was clearly awake. So it was like sleeping with his eyes open.

_Anyway, I just wanted to update you on how well I'm doing and wondering how you are. I'll let you know if there has been any more changes in Brother. _

Another lie to add stacked on top of the others. There's never been any changes.

_Yours respectfully,_

_Alphonse Elric._

Al always was terrible at lying.

It was another letter to Roy Mustang, who for some reason despite his busy schedule, managed to keep writing to the younger Elric, when he was probably supposed to be doing something important, like paperwork most likely.

Al layed the pen down next to his finished letter. It felt shorter than usual, but lately he wondered if there really was any point to writing these letters anymore. Sure, he was just letting them know that he was doing well, but sometimes he always wondered if they sounded like cries for help. He sounded like nothing was wrong, when there really was something monumentally wrong with this whole situation.

He turned in his desk chair and looked over at the only other occupant of the room. The very subject of his letter.

Ed was sitting up in his bed, wearing simple white pajamas, looking somewhere straight ahead. His eyes were a dull gold color and had a blank expression to them. He was always staring at something, something that Al always wondered what it was. His long blond hair was no longer kept tied in a ponytail, simply just let down. After all, there was no point to keeping it tied up any longer.

Several months ago, Ed was once active and full of life, working for Central Headquarters as a colonel, no longer going out on missions in search for the Philosopher's Stone, after they had successfully found it and Ed had used it to get Al's body back. But somehow Ed's body had not been restored, but that didn't seem to bother him as long as Al's body was working. But then Al suddenly started coughing blood and passing out, showing signs that his body was starting to fail on him. In desperation, Ed had sacrificed himself to make another stone, making Al's body perfect again, but seemingly destroying Ed's mind in the process. He was alive, but was now in a vegetative state, forced to be taken care of since he could no longer take care of himself.

But Ed's body was deteriorating. Sure, he could eat, drink, and sleep, but his body could not move and there was no way Al could try to get him exercise, causing his body to silently waste away. So Al needed to find a cure as soon as possible before Ed eventually passed away.

Al watched him for a few minutes. One would think that Ed was dead with his eyes open, yet he was clearly breathing and blinking and every once in a while he would move his eyes or his head to look at something. But that was about it. That was all Ed could do; simply watch the world go by without him.

After the few minutes had passed, he looked around the room. He had ended up moving into Ed's room, so they both shared the same room. Two beds, one large for Ed and one small one pushed into the corner next to the desk for Al. Just in case he would be there if something happened. Not like it mattered, really. All their belongings were in this room, Al's left scattered on his desk or under his small bed, where as Ed's possessions were all neatly kept in the one dressing bureau.

It was probably the most quiet room in the house. Downstairs, Winry and Auntie Pinako would be doing their automail business or other things, where as Al would be all alone in a room with someone who doesn't talk. The only sounds made would be the scratch of pencils and pens writing notes and letters, or Al talking to Ed, who of course would not be able to answer back.

He wondered if others would think it crazy of the idea that he was practically talking to himself. Or the fact that he was expecting an answer in return.

It didn't matter what others thought about it.

Not really.

It was better just to put on a facade and act like everything was fine.

Al mentally shook himself. He couldn't allow his thoughts to wander like that so much.

_It's about noon. Brother is probably hungry. _

"Brother", Al said, turning back to Ed, "Would you like something to eat?"

He paused, waiting for an answer. Ed blinked once at the question. No given answer.

"Maybe I could make you some soup? How would you like that?"

Another blink. Al just barely flinched. Sometimes it was uneasy being alone in the room with Ed. But he would never admit that.

"Soup it is then." Al smiled at him, slowly standing up from his chair. He left the room, starting to close the door with his back to the hallway, when he noticed that Ed's eyes had followed Al's path from his chair to the door, and he appeared to be staring at Al with a curious expression. Al couldn't help but pause. Normally Ed would just watch him leave with the same, blank expression, but this time there seemed to be a slight crease in the forehead, as if he was wondering about something.

Was he wondering where Al was going? Was he wondering why Al was getting soup for him? Was he wondering on the identity of this person that took care of him?

But the expression left as quickly as it came, and Al dismissed it as hopeful optimism that Ed had actually expressed an emotion, even if it was something like curiosity.

The smile slid off Al's face as he came down the stairs, knowing that Winry or Auntie Pinako would be at the bottom of the stairs. If he came down the stairs smiling, they would see right through his mask and would worry about how he was handling the situation. If he came down the stairs with an equally blank expression, then they would be shooting allegations in the dark, not knowing whether they missed or not.

But everyone would just be happy being in their own world, believing that nothing was wrong with Ed. These days, they were just happy to see Al come down the stairs. He spent so much time upstairs, researching journals and medical dictionaries trying to find a cure, so he barely came down at all except to feed himself and Ed, or to take Ed outside, but lately, days of being able to do that were getting shorter and shorter until eventually it would be rare to be able to attempt enjoying the weather outside. Yesterday had been the first time in over a month.

Al shook his head. His thoughts were starting to wander again.

He found himself hoping that Winry and Pinako wouldn't be around as he started going into the kitchen. But it was no surprise to him when he noticed Winry standing in front of the fridge, watching him with a curious expression, as if the question, "How is Ed doing?", was on the tip of her tongue, but was being held back. Why ask a question that you already know the answer to?

Instead, she says, "Good morn-well, actually it's afternoon now."

He gave a small smile of acknowledgement. "Well then, good afternoon, Winry."

"So what are you doing?" Winry asked, watching him as he opened a cabinet.

"Getting some soup for myself and Brother. I accidentally slept in and forgot to get him something this morning." he said as he pulled down a can of tomato soup. He turned around, fake smile in place.

Another lie to add to the ones he already had today. But it seemed Winry believed him as she smiled in turn, "Sounds good."

Maybe she was just humoring him. Or letting him believe his lie actually worked.

He even allowed himself to hum a little as he began to heat the soup up. It's another ordinary day, right?

"Hey Al...have you made any progress on Ed?"

He had been wondering when Winry was going to ask that.

"Well, I've been reading some old medical textbooks on the brain, and it seems that they have this theory that..."

As he prattled on, he watched the soup bubble ever so slightly, a dark red color escaping to the surface before making a slight hissing noise when they popped. Funny how he could find such interest in things like that.

"Sounds interesting." Winry nodded after he finished. "I hope you find a cure."

Al's shoulders visibly tensed before he nodded. "Yeah, I hope so too."

He started spooning some of the soup into a bowl when Winry spoke up again.

"Al, can you promise me something?"

"Sure, anything." Al said, hoping that whatever it was would make Winry satisfied enough to leave the room.

There was a tiny pause of hesitation, before...

"Promise me that you won't try human transmutation to cure him."

_Crash!_

The bowl of soup had slipped from Al's hands and fell on the floor at his feet. The red substance had splashed all over the place; spreading slowly in a pool at his feet. The bowl, a delicate white porcelain bowl, had shattered, jagged shards lying in the puddle at odd angles. But even as the substance started staining his shoes, Al didn't seem to have noticed. He had not reacted to the soup at all, keeping his back to Winry. Not until he heard her saying something like, "You must of had a bad grip on it. Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

He blinked once, grabbing a washcloth nearby and wiping his hands of the splashed soup. He turned around, kneeling down to help Winry clean it up.

"Sorry about that. I must of not have been paying attention." Al apologized.

Winry didn't say anything as he picked up the broken pieces of the bowl, wincing slightly when one of the jagged edges had made a small cut in the palm of his hand. She wiped the rest of the floor after Al had cleaned the soup off his shoes and was throwing the broken bowl away. He calmly returned to the stove, spooning the rest of the soup into two bowls.

"But you did hear me, right Al?" Winry asked, slowly standing back up.

Al didn't answer as he put the two bowls on a tray with some crackers. Yes, he had heard her. It was the fact that she would ask that question that had stunned him.

He had considered human transmutation. Mostly as a last ditch resort.

After all, Ed had practically thrown his life away just so that Al could have a body. If human transmutation could be a cure, then would it be wrong of him not to consider it?

"Al, promise me that you won't do it." Winry said, her voice taking a stern edge.

Al seemed to ignore her as he started to walk away with the tray of soup, but Winry grabbed his arm, lightly gripping it to make sure that she didn't make him drop his tray and make another mess again.

"Al, you can't be thinking of it. That's how Ed ended up in this situation. How would it really accomplish anything?"

Al could understand the logic in her words, but it wasn't quite reaching his ears. It almost felt like a low hum, but he knew what she was saying. It was like an odd, light fog drifting over his mind.

"Al, please promise me." Winry said for a third time, and she almost sounded close to tears. Al blinked once; the fog seemed to lift. He smiled, nodding once.

"I promise. After all, Ed wouldn't be happy with me if I did try that, would he?"

Winry smiled, nodding. "That's right."

She let go of his arm, allowing Al to leave the room. As he went up the stairs, the smile on his face twitched.

That was probably his best lie he told so far today.

If he could cure Brother by using human transmutation, then he would do it in a heartbeat.


	2. Hazy Distance

And here's the next chapter! Sorry if it seems too short or too soon! I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!

_Chapter One: Hazy Distance_

_"Hey Al, what are you doing?"_

_Al looked around from where he was bent over in the garden. Ed was standing in the doorway of the backdoor, watching him with curiosity. Al smiled as he stood up straighter so that Ed could see. Firefly grass was growing around his ankles in clusters, some of them blooming as dark blue petals seemed to glow in the dark. _

_"See, this is the firefly grass I've been growing.", Al said as Ed came over, "These flowers only bloom during night. And their petals glow like the wings of fireflies. A legend has it that if you hold it to your chest and pray while it's in bloom, then the person you're thinking of will be able to feel it, no matter how far away he is..."_

_"Al...you actually believe in that kind of thing...?" Ed asked, looking quite skeptical at the idea. Al looked down at the flowers thoughtfully. _

_"Brother...even if we don't have this flower...if we were separated...you'd still be able to feel my thoughts, right?" Al asked, looking back up at Ed. _

_There was an audible pause as Ed turned to look away from Al. He couldn't help but note that Ed's eyes seemed to have suddenly glazed over. What was he thinking about? _

_Ed stared off into the hazy distance for the longest minute before turning back to Al, smiling. "...Yes. Of course I will."_

_The sentiment just barely reached his eyes. It was the first of many times that Al would see those empty eyes. _

_Months later, when they would be forced to move back home to Resembool so that he could take care of Ed, Al had debated on whether he should bring the flowers or not. He picked some that were blooming the night before they would leave Central. He paused, holding the flowers to his chest. _

_"Ed...can you feel my thoughts?" Al whispered. _

_He didn't bother to wipe away the tear that rolled down his cheek. _

* * *

_..._

_...So dark._

_Where am I?_

_..._

_...Someone is waiting for me._

_But...my eyes are..._

_..._

_Maybe I'll just rest them for a minute..._

_...Wait for me, ok?_

* * *

After feeding himself and Ed, Al had sat down at his desk, back to his brother as he read from a medical journal. Even though most of them had been written by different people, they all had similar thoughts on the issue. Many familiar phrases kept jumping out at Al.

_**After a year, the chance of recovery of PVS patients becomes very low...**_

_**Functionality cannot return without consciousness and even then might have significant disabilities...**_

_**A high chance of never progressing far enough to be able to take care of one self...**_

Al lowered his book, glancing at Ed. So even if Ed's mind seemingly came back, there was the chance that Ed would never be able to take care of himself. He would be forever dependant on people.

Al's grip on the book seemed to slacken.

This wasn't like Ed, to be dependant on others.

Al sighed, closing the book and placing it on a pile of books he had already gone through. Well, that took care of all the medical journals and textbooks. He stared at the pile of books that remained. They were all books on alchemy, the ones he had saved for last.

Was it really his last option?

He took the book from the top of the pile and froze. Beginner's Alchemy.

This was the very book that Ed and Al had read as children and had learned their first alchemy techniques.

He placed it back on the pile of books. He stood up from his desk chair, stretching slightly. He suddenly stiffened. For some reason, he couldn't feel Ed's empty eyes trained on his back. After the first four months, Al had developed a sense of knowing when Ed was watching him. It made him a little nervous, actually.

He turned around and saw Ed staring a little to Al's left, where all the alchemy books were. Al followed his gaze, looking down at the alchemy books thoughtfully. Had he recognized the alchemy book that Al had been looking at a moment ago?

No, that couldn't be it. Ed had probably just been following Al's movements when Al had been stacking books.

Al shrugged, deciding that he had read enough books at the moment. He sat down in the chair next to Ed's bed, turning it so that it was facing Ed next to his bedside table. Al's mind began wandering as it often did these days. Was alchemy really the only thing that could cure Ed? He didn't want to believe that. But...it looked like that was the only solution.

Ed's eyes shifted away from him, instead to the bedside table. Al looked as well. A framed photo of the two of them as kids sat next to the lamp. Al had almost forgotten that he had put it there long ago, hoping that the photo would help in some way. Al picked it up, one hand on the bed as he showed it to Ed.

"Remember this, Brother? We went fishing at the stream near our house that day with Winry. You caught the biggest fish that day, but it was so big that it nearly pulled you into the stream and me and Winry had to hold on to you before you fell in? We had so much fun, didn't we?" Al asked, smiling a little as he carefully watched Ed.

Ed's head seemed to move a little to one side, blankly staring at the photo. He actually looked thoughtful for a minute before turning his head back to Al. His expression seemed to be of one who didn't know what to make of it.

Al bit his bottom lip, his left hand tightening on the frame. He could feel his eyes burn...he felt like he was going to cry any second...

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Ed was in this condition. Ed didn't deserve this. If anything, Al thought, _he _was the one who deserved to be in a vegetative state. If it hadn't been for him, Ed never would of gone into that awful basement. He never would have...

A tear fell and hit the bedspread.

_I can't cry...not in front of Brother..._

Suddenly, he felt something slide over his hand. It was smooth and soft, lukewarm at best. Al slowly lifted his gaze from the photo. His eyes widened.

Ed's hand, his left hand, had gently placed itself on top of Al's right hand. His fingers had lightly laced themselves with Al's, not too tightly, but still holding it none the less. Ed was staring at Al with the weirdest expression. His eyes seemed to be half-open, as if he was tired or carefully examining Al. His mouth, which normally seemed to be set in a straight line, were tugged just a little in the corners; a small frown. He frankly looked...sad.

Al could hear his heart thumping loudly in his chest; he could feel the blood rushing to his ears. He had to stop himself from shouting. Ed had done something other than just staring at him. Al set the photo down on the bed and placed his left hand over Ed's.

"Ed...Ed...You're still here...I knew it...I always knew it...even if...even if they didn't believe me..." Al mumbled, words just slipping out of his mouth as fast as they could. He didn't even realize that his fingernails were starting to dig into Ed's hand, not until Ed's hand seemed to flinch, jerking slightly. Al looked down and noticed that his fingernails were leaving scratches in Ed's hand, almost drawing blood. He quickly removed his hand, even though Ed had not shown a flicker of pain on his features.

"Sorry." he said sheepishly, looking up into Ed's eyes, however, he himself flinched. Ed was once again simply staring at him blankly, like an object of vague interest. That flicker of emotion he had seen had gone as quickly as it had come. Ed's hand was still on top of Al's right hand, but it was now lax, not holding on like it had before.

Al lowered his eyes, slowly removing his hand out from under Ed's. He stood and turned his back on Ed, facing the window. The sky was a light gray, clouds lazily drifting and seemingly blending in with the sky. The silence was suddenly so loud, he could hear the noises of the insects outside.

He had gotten his hopes up. Just because Ed had moved his hand, it didn't mean that his mind was back or anything like that. It was just a bodily reaction, he tried to tell himself. And as for his show of emotion...maybe Al had just imagined it out of desperation.

It was heartbreaking how his hopeful optimism was slowly being replaced by pessimism.

He sighed once, turning back around as he picked the photo up and placed it back on the bedside table. He walked over to his desk and picked up the beginner's alchemy book. It seemed that he would now begin to research the alchemical means of curing Ed...as much as he wished he didn't have to.

He noticed his letter to Mustang still laying on his desk. That's right...he needed to go mail it. He put the book back down for the second time and looked around for an envelope. After finding one and stuffing his letter into it, he cast one quick look at Ed before leaving the room with his letter. He couldn't help but wonder if he should mention what happened to Mustang, but even then, he might not believe him, so he decided to keep this little event to himself as his own secret.

* * *

_..._

_...Dark again. I must of been asleep longer than I thought. _

_...That's odd. For a second, I thought I felt a hand in mine. But whose? And...they seem so sad. Why? _

_I can't remember..._

_..._

_...Wait._

_I think...I think I can see something..._

_..._

_...Flowers?_

He slowly opened his eyes. He appeared to be lying on his stomach, his face turned to one side as grass seemed to tickle at his nose. He sleepily blinked once, putting a hand out to raise himself up. He sat up, on his knees as he looked around. He appeared to be in a field of some sort. The sky was gray, a light fog blanketing the area. Around his person, tall flowers seemed to be blooming. They were dark blue and seemed to glow with life. He brushed a finger against one of them and was surprised to find that it felt like paper.

This field was so calm...so peaceful...

He examined himself. He was wearing a long sleeved black shirt and blue military uniform regulated pants. There was several holes in his clothes, frayed at their edges. There was a few dark red smears here and there on his clothes. His long blond hair in its ponytail trailed behind him in the light wind. He took a minute to examine his right arm-for some reason, it was made of metal. Also his left leg, when he checked. They were damaged, but they still seemed functional to the point where he could still be able to get around easily enough.

He must of been in some battle, he concluded after getting a general idea of what he looked like.

There was still two questions on his mind though.

Who was he and how did he get here?

_"...Ed."_

He blinked. Ed? Was that his name? He rolled the name around in his mind. Somehow, it seemed to make since. It must of been his name then.

That answered one question. Now he just needed to know how he ended up in a field.

Or better yet, why he was alone in a field.

_"...Ed...you're still here..."_

Ed looked around. Who was calling for him?

Suddenly, a figure seemed to appear to him. It's outline was blurry, but he could tell that whoever it was had gray eyes and looked...worried. Why did he look so familiar?

"Who...who are you?" he asked, finding his voice. He couldn't help but feel burdened by the fact that it sounded like he was in pain. Or fright. A good combination of both. But why? He didn't feel any pain and he was pretty sure he wasn't afraid. Not really.

_"I knew it...I always knew it..."_

Suddenly, the figure began to fade away. Ed put a hand out, leaning forward on his knees.

"H-hey, wait a minute! Don't leave!"

His fingers seemed to brush against the figure. It felt wispy and soft, like feathers. But despite his protests, the figure vanished. Ed frowned, looking dejected as he lowered his hand. He looked down at the ground in front of him. Who had that been? He felt like he should have known who it was.

But he dismissed it. After all, if he couldn't remember the person's identity, then maybe it wasn't that important anyway.


	3. I'm Still Here

Sorry for the long chapter, but things get freaky in this chapter. I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!

_Chapter Two: I'm Still Here_

About a week or two passed since Al's latest letter to Roy. In that week's time, Al's desk had become littered with drawings of transmutation circles and equations of advanced theories. He was always careful to hide them when Winry or Auntie Pinako would come check up on him.

As for Ed, he thought that maybe there was still one chance left. It seemed that talking about the past more had sparked something in him. Or that's what he wanted to think, anyway. So he tried the same thing from last week, showing him old photos of themselves and telling him stories about their adventures and about the basics of alchemy. However, Ed stayed as quiet and unmoving as ever. (Although sometimes, Al could swear that he could see Ed's hand move once or twice)

One day, he was sitting in the chair next to Ed, reading quietly to the both of them on, believe it or not, human transmutation. Al debated on whether that was ethical since, as Winry had so put it, human transmutation was what put Ed in a vegetative state. But he was convincing himself that if human transmutation was what had put him in such a state, maybe it could be used in some form to wake him out of the vegetative state.

He couldn't help but chuckle quietly to himself at the thought. Only a delusional person would think that way.

Maybe this whole situation was making him mentally unbalanced.

This thought was also funny, for some reason. Al, mentally unbalanced? As likely as...

_As likely as Ed never waking up. _

He really needed to stop letting his thoughts wander so much these days.

There was a quiet knock on his door. Al hid the book behind his back.

"Come in."

The door opened as Winry peeked her head in. "Y-you have a visitor, Al."

There was something suspicious about the way she said that, Al couldn't help but think as he smiled. "Be down in a second."

Great, now he was getting paranoid.

Al waited for her to leave as he placed the alchemy book on the bedside table. He slowly stood, stretching a little. He started to leave, when he felt something snag on to the hem of his shirt.

"What the...?" Al turned to investigate, but his breath seemed to leave him.

Ed's hand had grabbed his shirt, holding on to it with a near-death grip. Ed was staring at him with his usual blank eyes, but he appeared to be frowning ever so slightly like before. As if he was worried about something.

"D-don't worry. I'm coming right back." Al said nervously, daring to believe that Ed was showing some sort of response. But Ed didn't let go, in fact, Al thought his grip had tightened. Al leaned down a little so that he was at eye level with Ed.

"What's wrong, Ed?" Al asked. Ed didn't say anything, however his eyes seemed to move past Ed toward the door. As if he was trying to tell him something.

As if he didn't want Al to leave.

"Ed, let go. It's fine." Al said as he slowly began prying Ed's fingers off his shirt. Ed didn't resist, merely staring at him as Al backed away.

"I'll...I'll be back up soon." Al said as he seemed to step out too quickly, nearly slamming the door behind him. He leaned against the closed door, breathing heavily.

Had he just imagined it again? Ed's hand moving and grabbing his shirt?

Al checked the hem of his shirt. His shirt appeared to be somewhat wrinkled at the bottom. He calmed his breathing, allowing himself a small smile. This had to prove it. Ed's mind was there somewhere.

He had to tell Winry and Auntie Pinako and...

Oh yeah, he had a visitor.

He made his way down the stairs, deciding to save his news until after the visitor had left. However, he was surprised to find that none other than Fuhrer Mustang sitting in the living room next to Winry and Pinako. He was wearing a somber expression, as he appeared to be discussing something with Pinako. Upon noticing Al in the room, the conversation came to an abrupt halt. What was this, an intervention?

"Alphonse." Mustang greeted. It sounded cheerful, but somehow his voice cracked when he said it.

"Fuhrer Mustang." Al acknowledged. "What are you doing here?"

"...Maybe you should sit down first."

A sense of dread was starting to creep in. "I'll stand, thanks." Al said, rather defiantly. Whatever it was couldn't be good news, and he felt that he didn't want to be sitting for this. Mustang seemed to visibly shrug, as if he wouldn't argue with Al otherwise.

"Very well then. Now..."

Mustang pulled something out of his pocket. Al's latest letter to him.

"I got your letter."

Al raised an eyebrow. "And you had to tell me this in person?" Al knew he sounded rather arrogant, but he didn't care at the moment.

"Yes. It seems that your view on Fullm-Ed is...troubling, to say the least."

"Troubling how?"

"You think he's just sleeping and he's going to wake up and everything is going to be the same again?" Mustang asked, a slight air of disbelief.

"...And if I do think that way?"

"Al...it's been about eight months. You know there's little to no chance of recovery after the first six." Mustang sighed. Al thought he could hear an emphasis on "eight months"

"So I haven't given up yet. So what?" Al challenged.

_Like you all did._

He had no idea where all this was coming from...maybe it was just the sheer exhaustion and frustration of trying to cure Ed; of painfully hoping for some change in Ed.

"So _what?_" Winry suddenly spoke up, her eyes stinging with tears. Al's eyes flickered over in her direction. How did he forget that she was in the room too? "So what? How can you say something like that?"

"What she means is..." said Pinako next to her. "Maybe it's been long enough. His condition hasn't changed for the better. It's putting you under so much stress, that it's unhealthy. Maybe it's time to...to let him go." Her face was quite stoic as she said this too, Al noted.

"Let him go...? What do you..."

Then it clicked.

"You want me _kill _him?" he whispered, horrified at the notion.

"Not kill him. Just...put him to rest." Winry quietly whispered.

"But he's not..." Al tried to argue, but he was interrupted by Mustang.

"I know it's hard, Alphonse, but maybe this is for the best." he said, and Al noticed that his voice was cracking again, "He might even be in pain...it's better than letting him live out his life this way."

As much as he didn't want to admit it, deep down, they were right. But when he thought about the idea of consenting, of "literally" putting Ed to sleep, the picture of Ed's eyes when he had tried to stop Al from leaving the room surfaced to the front of his mind.

"He's not coming back, Al. You have to try to move forward-" Mustang started to say, but he stopped when Al's eyes suddenly snapped in his direction.

They were acting like Brother was gone; he was forever lost to them.

"Brother's not gone! He's still there! A few weeks ago he grabbed my hand and just today-" Al tried to convince them, trying to tell them of what had happened, but Winry interrupted him.

"Stop it Al! He's not there! As hard as it is to face, Ed isn't here anymore." Winry snapped at him. She was crying, nearly sobbing into the couch. Al knew that this was painful for Winry to say things like that, but he strangely felt disgusted that Winry of all people had given up hope so quickly.

"Yes he is! He's here! You just don't see it!" Al tried to argue. Why weren't they listening to him?

He knew he sounded harsh and quite spiteful as he continued, "You're acting like he's some burden on you all! As if it's just some body lying in a bed and not Ed, the _Fullmetal Alchemist_, the hero of-"

"Alphonse!" Mustang snapped. Al quieted, watching Mustang and trying not to spill out more of his rage on them. He had the feeling that Mustang was there for this reason-to make sure that Al didn't lose it during this...decision-making, if one would call it that.

"We're fully aware of who he is. This is just as hard on you as it is on us." he tried to calm the younger Elric down. It seemed to work, as Al seemed to visibly relax. "We just want you to consider it...you don't have to make that kind of decision right away."

Al suddenly laughed; it sounded hollow. "Well, since he's _my _brother, I'm the only one who can make that kind of decision anyway, right? So I can't help but think that this was a waste of time on everyones part, as you would have to be _stupid _to think that I would _agree _to killing Brother."

There was so much venom in his words. His eyes were blurred with tears, but he was trying to hide them. He was almost getting some sort of sick satisfaction from watching Winry cry harder at his words. He turned on his heel, calmly walking out of the living room before reaching the stairs. He paused, turning around to face Winry and Pinako, who were staring at him with a mix of fascination and horror.

He was slowly starting to regret what he had said.

"...Sorry. I'll 'think' about it." he said, having to stop himself from putting literal air quotes around the word "think". He knew he didn't sound very sorry at all, or as sorry as he should of been. He turned to Mustang, inclining slightly in a sort of respectful bow.

"It was nice seeing you again, Fuhrer Mustang." he said politely. It was eerie how calm he sounded. He started to go up the stairs, but found himself pausing once again. He didn't turn around, instead concentrating on his shaky white knuckles.

"I...I really am sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just..."

A tear splashed onto the banister. He had been determined to walk away from this with the upper hand and with the feeling of superiority. But he just couldn't do it.

It wasn't in his nature to act so hostile toward people who had his best interest.

"Please...give me some time. Please?" he pleaded, turning to look down at them. "He's all I got..."

Mustang nodded. "As much time as you need. It's your decision, after all."

Al looked to Winry. He really owed an apology to her, so he waited for her to say something. She nodded once-unable to speak due to her emotional state. He took it as partial forgiveness. He tried to smile; it felt like he was literally splitting his face apart with a cleaver.

"Thank you." he whispered before quietly walking up the stairs. He waited until he reached the security of his bedroom, closing the door behind him before he sank to the floor, a sob racking his body. He sat on the floor, without speaking, merely sobbing for sometime. He gulped once before looking up at Ed, who was watching him as usual. He had the same expression from before...worried.

Al shakily stood up, dragging himself over to the chair and depositing himself in it. He put both of his hands on top of Ed's left one.

"Brother...help me...help me...I don't know what I should do. Why can't you be here to prove them wrong? They won't believe me...they keep saying that you're gone. They want me...they want me to kill you."

For some reason, he felt angry again as he grabbed the alchemy book from the bedside table and threw it as hard as he could against the opposite wall. "It's not fair! How could they just give up on you like that!? Do they just not care anymore?"

His anger seemed to be evaporating as he leaned on his arms on the side of the bed. Or maybe it was mere exhaustion.

His eyes were burning. "I still want to believe that you're here...but it's getting harder and harder...I always feel so sick and tired of all the waiting...I don't want to give up...but...I need to show proof to them that you're here...but...I...I just don't know what to think anymore...I don't know what to believe...help me...help me...Ed..." he mumbled to himself.

His eyes felt heavy. He closed them, which made them feel much better. As he felt himself drifting off to sleep, he thought he could feel a hand place itself on his head and gently run through his hair in a calming, soothing manner. He wanted to open his eyes to see if it was Ed or just another product of his imagination, but he had no time to do so as he quickly fell asleep.

* * *

Ed was facing an odd dilemma. For the past two weeks, he had tried wandering away from the field, but somehow, the field was never-ending. Hunger and thirst wasn't much of an issue; sometimes he would feel those kinds of things, but sometimes they would suddenly go away. He felt like he was supposed to be somewhere, supposed to be doing something, but he didn't know what.

So he spent most of his time either walking around, sleeping, or listening. Sometimes, he could hear someones voice talking to him. It was comforting and peaceful. It was the voice of the person he had seen when he had first woken up. The voice would talk to him, either about the day or asking him questions. He would try to answer, but for some reason the voice couldn't hear him. The voice also told him stories about Ed, about adventures that Ed and the owner of the voice had supposedly gone on. And as he told the stories, Ed could feel the gaps in his memory slowly start to fill in.

But he never could figure out who the voice was. It was the one thing that wasn't coming back. That, and how he ended up in this field in the first place. But maybe it didn't matter...maybe that was just how it was supposed to be.

Although, the voice liked to say the weirdest things sometimes...things like "you're still here" and other odd little things like that. Ed didn't mind; it made him feel secure for some reason, in the belief that he was indeed "still here".

But one day, as he was walking around, waiting for the voice, he could feel that something was off. The air felt colder and thicker than before. He stopped, looking around his surroundings.

"What's going on?" he wondered aloud.

He noticed something standing in front of him. It was hazy and hard to make out, but it looked like a person. Someone with gray eyes. Ed's breath caught in his throat. It was the same figure from before, the owner of the voice.

"Hey!" he called out. The figure didn't respond. It seemed to be looking at something to Ed's left. Ed tried to see what he was looking at, but didn't see anything. The figure slowly started to walk away in that direction.

"Hold on, you can't get away this time!" Ed shouted, determined to catch him and finally get some answers. He ran as fast as he could after the figure, trying to catch up with his long strides. After some time, Ed finally caught up to the mysterious figure, latching on to the hem of his shirt.

"Hey, I need you to..." Ed started to say, but the figure suddenly spoke. It's voice sounded like it was coming from far away.

_"D-don't worry. I'm coming right back."_

"Just wait and listen to me-"

_"What's wrong, Ed?"_

Ed paused. Could he finally hear him?

"I have a lot of questions to ask you-" Ed tried to say, but suddenly felt some strange force trying to pry his fingers off of the figure's shirt.

_"Ed, let go. It's fine."_

It successfully removed his fingers from the figure and the figure started to move away again, causing Ed's fingers to now be catching air.

_"I'll...I'll be back soon..." _it said as it started fading away, continuing to go in that one direction.

"Wait! Please don't leave!" he begged, but the figure ignored him. Cursing under his breath, he chased after its fading apparition, running in the direction it was going in even after it had disappeared. After what felt like hours, or what could of been mere minutes, he started to notice that the field under him was starting to thin out, the flowers no longer growing in clusters around his feet until they started to disappear one by one until there were no flowers left.

He soon slowed down as a building came into view. In actuality, it appeared to be the ruins of an old building. The walls had collapsed; the roof caving in on itself. Broken glass and bricks were scattered all over the place. However, the strangest thing of all was that there was one section of wall standing, with a window still intact.

Ed cautiously approached the window. What was this doing out in the middle of nowhere? He curiously leaned against the window, peeking inside even though he expected to see the other side. Instead, he got something quite different.

He could see the inside of a room. A desk and a bed was in one corner, a dresser of some kind in the other. A bedside table with a photo sat to his left. He couldn't see the photo clearly enough to know who the people were in it. The window appeared to be above another bed in the room.

"So this is someones bedroom..." Ed muttered to himself. He peered around the other side of the wall. It was only the smashed foundations of the house that he saw.

_"Brother...help me..."_

Ed snapped back around to the other side of the window, looking around. It was the voice! But why did it sound like it was crying?

_"...help me..."_

"Hello?" Ed called around frantically. The voice needed help! But why? And...Brother? Was he the voice's brother or something?

_"I don't know what I should do."_

"With what?" Ed asked, but didn't get an answer; the voice just continued.

_"Why can't you be here to prove them wrong? They won't believe me...they keep saying that you're gone."_

Ed froze. Gone? How could he be gone? He was right here! Just...just like the voice told him many times before, that he was "here", something that he took strange comfort in.

_"They want me...they want me to kill you."_

Ed's eyes widened. "K-kill me? W-what did I do wrong?" he asked, looking up at the sky. _I didn't do anything...I don't want to die..._

Suddenly there was a loud crashing sound of something hitting a wall. The voice was angry all of a sudden, something that frightened Ed. _"It's not fair! How could they just give up on you like that!? Do they just not care anymore?"_

Ed thought he could hear the voice coming from the window. He tried to look through and saw someone sitting next to the bedside table, head down on the bed. It was the owner of the voice, but now Ed could see him more clearly. He had short brown hair, that much he could tell from this angle.

_"I still want to believe that you're here...but it's getting harder and harder...I always feel so sick and tired of all the waiting...I don't want to give up...but..." _the voice muttered. It sounded so heartbroken.

"What are you talking about? I'm right here!" Ed shouted as loud as he could, praying that the voice could hear him.

_"But I...I need to show proof to them that you're here...but...I...I just don't know what to think anymore...I don't know what to believe..."_

Ed pounded his fists against the window. "Hey, look over here! I'm right here!"

His head was suddenly throbbing painfully. He imagined his hand going through the glass and trying to touch the person to get their attention. For a second, he thought he could see a hand reach out and run through his hair, but it didn't seem to grant him the desired effect. "Answer me!" Ed shouted as he pounded his fists against the window as hard as he could. Suddenly, the window shattered, removing the view of the room as the glass rained down on the ground, shards embedding in his hands and arms. Blood trickled from his left hand and dripped onto the ground.

_"Help me...help me...Ed..." _the voice continued pathetically.

He could still hear it.

Suddenly there was a shooting pain coursing through his mind. Ed screamed out in pain, hands going to his head to hold it steady. It felt like knives stabbing into his brain repetitively without any intention of stopping. He sunk down on his knees, head leaning on the remains of the brick wall as tears fell and splashed, mixing with the already spilled blood from his cut hand. "I'm trying to help...I tried." he corrected, choking a sob back as the pain in his head intensified. He slowly collapsed on his side, trying to shut out everything in an effort to stop the pain in his head. _Why am I here? Why can't I remember? Why? WHY!?_

Eventually, Ed managed to drift off to sleep with those thoughts swimming through the forefront of his mind.

* * *

Al had a dream that night.

He was walking down the hallway to his bedroom, afraid for some reason. Whispers were following him, hinting that he had decided to put Ed to rest. He approached the door to his bedroom. He sighed once, shaking as he turned the doorknob.

When the door swung open, he screamed as if his heart was being shredded in a blender.

For Ed was laying sideways on the bedspread, in a pool of his own blood. His chest and throat seemed to have been ripped out. Most of the blood covered his face, arms, and hands. His eyes seemed to have life, glaring at him as if to say that it was Al's fault. But perhaps the most chilling of all was the words written all over the room; on the floor, ceiling, bed, door, desk, and the wall behind Ed, which bore the biggest message in the room, all of them written in his own blood.

**_I'M STILL HERE_**


	4. Glass Smiles

I should probably technically label this story as "angst" or "horror" or something like that. This chapter is also somewhat shorter and I'm sorry for taking so long to update. But you know what's really sad? I updated this fanfic today on my little brother's birthday. I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.

_Chapter Three: Glass Smiles_

One time, when Al was younger, he had forgotten Ed's birthday. Ed had been disappointed when Al had no present to give to him, but Ed had waved him off, saying that Ed had his own gift, something that they could both share. So Al waited for Ed's birthday to come, but surprisingly, it felt like an ordinary day, besides Pinako's birthday cake she had made for Ed and miscellanious other gifts. They had gone to play in the fields as usual until the sun began to set.

_"Ed..."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Didn't you say that you had some gift of your own..."_

_"...I lied."_

_"Huh?"_

_"I don't really have anything that I can give myself, nor that I can share with you."_

_"Oh..."_

_"...I wish Mom was around. She would of made sure that you had remembered."_

Ed had suddenly started to walk away, and with some unknown clarity, Al realized something.

Today was Ed's first birthday since the death of their mother.

After that, Al made a point to never forget Ed's birthday again.

* * *

Al quickly sat up, rubbing his eyes. He had fallen asleep at his desk again. When was the last time he actually slept in his bed?

The alarm clock on the desk was imprinting 11:35 P.M. into his brain.

He glanced over at Ed, sitting up a little straighter in his desk chair. Ed was sleeping, on his side facing the wall opposite the window. Al stretched his arms, feeling a muscle crack a little. He figured that he should probably move to his bed and go to sleep, but somehow, he didn't feel as tired as he should be. He stood up, walking over to the window. He threw the windows open, letting the light, cool wind flow through the room. The moonlight spread across the room and came to rest on Ed, illuminating his sleeping body.

After that dream (or rather, nightmare) that Al had a few nights ago, Al had always been worried that Ed would suddenly stop breathing on him, but he would breathe a sigh of relief when he would see the rise of Ed's chest...up and down...up and down...

It was quite hypnotic, actually.

Al walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed, deep in thought about the choice he would have to eventually make. He didn't want to think that Ed's mind might be truly gone and that Ed was slowly dying. That idea didn't fit the picture of his brother at all. But doubt was slowly starting to make its voice heard, louder and more noticeable due to Al's exhaustion.

_Do you remember two nights ago? Remember when he looked like he was wheezing, breathing heavily, as if he was choking on his last breath? What about last night when it looked like the arc of his chest had stopped for a second or two? But then again, you probably "just imagined" it, right? __You should get yourself checked out. You're the one whose losing their mind, you know._

Al put his hands to his head, fingers digging into his scalp. _Just shut up. _

_Everyone's your enemy. Hell, even your own mind has turned against you. _

Al lowered his hands. It was no use. Instead, he turned to Ed, who was still sleeping, unaware of the battle going on in Al's own mind. Suddenly, it whispered to him once more.

_It's his fault. He's the one causing all this. He's the root of it all. _

Al could feel his own eyes narrow unconsciously as he gazed down at his older brother.

_You could end it. Only you can finish this. It's easy._

Without thinking about it, his hand moved toward Ed, toward his throat.

_Not like he can fight back or anything. Once he's dead, everyone will be happier. No more paranoia. No more tears and frustration from the people around you. No more insane thoughts...you'll never hear from me ever again...all you have to do is wrap that hand of yours around his neck..._

Al's hand hovered, hesitant and expectant. He couldn't. He could never do such a thing. No matter what promised relief was brought about it. Memories of Ed bubbled in his vision, like photographs flashing through his mind.

"Brother..."

"Having homicidal thoughts? That's not like you at all."

Al felt like he got doused in cold water.

It couldn't be.

Not _him_.

Al slowly turned his head toward the window, to the source of the voice. The cause of all his problems.

Envy was sitting in the windowsill, legs dangling off the side inside the room. The moon seemed to cast Envy's shadow on the wall and Al didn't like the way Envy's purple eyes seemed to glow as mischievously as the smirk on his face.

"You...how did you find us?" Al asked, eyes narrowing in extreme dislike.

"If you weren't in Central, where else would you be?" Envy asked, looking around the room. His gaze rested on Ed. "Still haven't given up on him, I see...or...maybe you have."

Al looked down and noticed clearly for the first time how close he had come to killing Ed; his hand had still been hovering dangerously close to Ed's throat. He quickly moved his hand away. "Leave. Now."

"Why should I?" Envy asked, bored as he is swinging his legs. "It's not like you're of any real threat to me. Not even the shrimp can protect you if I decide to take your life here and now."

It was true, unfortunately.

"Why are you here?" Al asked, standing up from the bed.

"I might know a way to make your brother wake up from his current state."

Al's eyes narrowed at Envy before he turned away, no longer facing him, despite how dangerous that might be to have his back to someone like Envy. "No thanks. I don't want your help."

"Oh? Why not?"

Al had the weirdest feeling that Envy was staring at the back of his nails, looking over at Al with mild interest.

"Your 'help' put Ed in this condition!" Al nearly shouted, but he didn't want to wake up the household and alert them to Envy's prescence.

If it was humanly possible to _hear _someone smirk, then Al would have the feeling that he could hear Envy's right now.

"But it worked, didn't it? You have your body back, after all."

Al's hands curled into fists. "I want you to leave. Right now."

Envy chuckled. "Even though I could provide the answer to getting your precious brother back? Your brother took the risk and it worked out in his favor; he got what he wanted. You too could also get what you want."

Al slowly turned around, carefully observing Envy. "Why? I thought you want us dead..."

"I'm technically 'working', if you can call it that. Orders not to kill you. Of course, I'm not giving you the information for free." Envy said in a manner like talking to a three year old.

"Then what do you want?"

"I think you know."

Al's eyebrows furrowed. What would someone like Envy want-

The answer came to him at the same time that a Cheshire grin begin to spread on Envy's face.

"You want another Philosopher's Stone."

"Exactly. Not me, specifically, but for my...associates, shall we say." Envy said rather scathingly. Apparently he really hated these "associates" of his.

"And what makes you think that I would help you make another one?"

"Because if you do, I'll let you use it first to fix the pipsqueak here. And maybe he can tell you how he screwed up the first time." Envy said, gesturing toward Ed. Al looked over at Ed, watching the arcs of his breathing_...up and down..._

Didn't Al tell himself that if human transmutation was the answer, then he would do it without regreting it?

_...Up and down..._

But Envy's help had put Ed in this condition, so wouldn't that be stupid to accept Envy's help now?

_...Up and down..._

And yet, as painful as it was to admit, it had actually worked. Al had gotten his body fixed. Maybe...maybe Ed slipped up somewhere along the line and that was why it turned out badly for him...

Al wouldn't try to make the same mistake again.

_He forgets that the process would of made Ed disappear, but because he interrupted it, it made Ed's mind disappear instead. _

He could suddenly hear Envy stand on the windowsill. "I'll give you time to think about it. If you do come to a decision, come alone to the abandoned caves over the hill. We'll be waiting."

Al didn't turn to watch Envy jump down from his window and disappear into the night. Instead, he realized that another new choice was being presented before him, another option.

He was either going to terminate Ed's life.

Or possibly terminate the lives of others.

Funny enough, the only thought currently going through his mind was _"The abandoned caves? Me and Ed used to play there when we were younger before they closed them off due to the risk of the rocks coming down and caving in on people"_

The alarm clock suddenly dinged. It was 12:00 A.M. Midnight.

There's snow lightly coating the ground and windowsill in a fine powder.

It's been 10 and a half months. It'll almost be a whole year since Ed's "accident". And Al knows that it's when a year has passed when you should call it quits because _he isn't going to wake up and not notice a whole year of his life has disappeared. _

It's no wonder Al's losing hope. Or rather his mind.

Going to Envy would the absolute, most stupidest thing to do, as Envy is responsible for Ed's condition. _No, technically he's only partially responsible. If I hadn't tried to stop Brother..._

He can't even believe he's considering. But then again, like a game of cards, Envy seeemd to be holding an ace, something that Al needed, rather it was a cure or the answers that he seeked. However, Al didn't know if Envy was bluffing or not so he might be gambleing with Ed's life for nothing. He wished he could ask Ed what he should do, but he can't.

After all, Ed was always good at cheating when he played card games.

Maybe Ed could cheat death too.

If he had been in his right mind, he might have noticed that it was Ed's birthday.

* * *

Ed sat under a tree in his little field, close toward the ruins that he had discovered days prior. A couple of firefly grass flowers bloomed here and there, glowing a little from the sun hiding behind grey clouds. Sometimes, when he wasn't sleeping and the voice wasn't talking, he would pick one of the flowers and pull it apart, petal by petal, until it seemed that he was no longer interested in this weak need for entertainment and it was getting annoying to have blue petals clinging to his pants.

He stood and walked away from the tree, brushing petals off his pants, deep in thought.

Ever since the collapse in the ruins and hearing the voice in distress, Ed had dull, aching headaches that would come now and then. They weren't as painful as like before, just simply annoying now. When the voice talked, he noticed that it was slightly edgy, as if out of fear.

Was the voice suddenly afraid of Ed?

But what had he done in order for that to happen?

He sighed, stopping to lay out on his back, figuring that watching clouds would be an activity to pass the time. But this seemed just as useless, the clouds were all just white lumps of condensation.

Sometimes he felt like he was simply watching the world go by, trapped inside a cage made of glass. Everything seemed too...see-through, for lack of a better word. As if he was looking at all this through a filter of some kind. And yet, if he tried to leave this place, he had the feeling that this world would shatter into thousands of shards, raining down on him as he would fall into the darkness.

_"Brother..."_

His eyes squinted as he looked up at the sky; somehow it seemed darker than it had been a moment ago, as if it was night. It was the voice again. But...something wasn't right. Normally the voice didn't talk around this time, if Ed could really tell time in such place. And why did he have the strangest sense of forbidding, as if something was planning to take his life then and there.

Quite suddenly, a new, vaguely familiar voice spoke. It sent chills down Ed's spine.

_"Having homicidal thoughts? That's not like you at all."_

This was a first. He had never heard another voice speaking before. But he knew that he didn't trust this one at all.

_"You...how did you find us?"_

Apparently, _his _voice didn't trust this other one either.

_"If you weren't in Central, where else would you be? Still haven't given up on him, I see...or...maybe you have."_

The feeling that he was suddenly going to die suddenly vanished. But what did the second voice mean by "haven't given up on him"?

_"Leave. Now."_

_"Why should I?"_

Ed couldn't help but feel incredibly pissed at the second voice. Why was it bothering them? Couldn't it get that they didn't want it there? But why? Was it a threat to them?

_"It's not like you're of any real threat to me. Not even the shrimp can protect you if I decide to take your life here and now."_

Ed felt his cheeks burn with rage, both at the indirect insult (how he knew that it was about him was his guess) and at threatening the one thing that bothered to make any contact with Ed. If only he could find these guys and punch this second voice in the face.

_"Why are you here?"_

_"I might know a way to make your brother wake up from his current state."_

The sky suddenly didn't seem so empty. He thought he could make out faces for a second. The voice and his grey eyes were not concentrated on Ed, instead they were looking elsewhere, away from the other voice, whose appearance he couldn't make out just yet.

The voice's brother was asleep?

...The voice once called Ed "Brother"

So...did that mean that Ed was asleep?

_"No thanks. I don't want your help."_

_"Oh? Why not?"_

_"Your 'help' put Ed in this condition!"_

Ed's eyes widened. So the reason he was in this weird field without any memory of getting there...it was the second voice's fault?

_"But it worked, didn't it? You have your body back, after all."_

Body? What was this about getting his body back? That term sounded very familiar, for some reason.

He could feel the headache coming before it actually reached his temples. He winced in pain, putting a hand up to his head from where he still lay on the grass as the conversation continued.

_"I want you to leave. Right now."_

_"Even though I could provide the answer to getting your precious brother back? Your brother took the risk and it worked out in his favor; he got what he wanted. You too could also get what you want."_

There was a long pause and the headache seemed to increase ever so slightly. What "risk" were they talking about?

And did Ed really get what he wanted?

_"Why? I thought you want us dead..."_

Too many questions to think about. Why did that person want them dead?

_"I'm technically 'working', if you can call it that. Orders not to kill you. Of course, I'm not giving you the information for free."_

_"Then what do you want?"_

_"I think you know."_

Ed's head was pounding in his ears so badly that he almost missed the voice's response. Almost.

_"You want another Philosopher's Stone."_

Maybe it would of been better if Ed had missed it.

"Philosopher's...Stone?" Ed whispered. The words seem to echo around the field.

Quite suddenly, it felt like his head had been cracked wide open. Ed screamed out in pain as different images went through his mind even though the conversation above still continued.

_"Exactly. Not me, specifically, but for my...associates, shall we say."_

_Ed was watching someone as they tended to the firefly grass that bloomed in their backyard..._

_"And what makes you think that-_

_The same someone had fallen to the ground, coughing once as blood splattered on the floor before they fainted..._

_-I would help you make another one?"_

_Ed was kneeling down in front of a transmutation circle in a dark and desolate basement, his clothes torn and bloody as he whispered promises of getting someone's body back..._

_"Because if you do, I'll let you use it first to fix the pipsqueak here."_

_Violet, devil like eyes watching from the shadows as the someone held him close, shouting for him to say something, but he can't because his tongue feels permanently glued to the roof of his mouth and his eyes are as wide and empty as saucers and he feels like he's blacking out even though his eyes still remain open, like the living dead..._

_"And maybe he can tell you how he screwed up the first time."_

_Ed had made a mistake the first time when he tried to get his brother's body back...it had only been a temporary container...not like before when his soul was bound to a suit of armor. _

When the visions came to a stop, Ed found himself heaving, breathing hard as he continued to stare upward at the sky. He felt like he wanted to cry, but for some reason, he couldn't.

So that was it. He had somehow ended up in this weird field because he made some mistake trying to get someone, no, his _brother's _body back. But he was so confused. He still didn't even recognize his own brother and he didn't know if he was dead or if this was all a product of his imagination.

But now...his brother wanted him back. And was apparently willing to listen to the very same person who was responsible for Ed's glass imprisonment.

_"I'll give you time to think about it. If you do come to a decision, come alone to the abandoned caves over the hill. We'll be waiting."_

The second voice seemed to have left. Ed just stared at the sky, at the apparition of his brother as he looked down on him. He wanted to believe that Al really could see him from where he was.

"Don't listen to him...don't think of helping him..." Ed found himself saying, hoping that he could hear him.

But he received no answer in return.

* * *

_"Hey Al, lets play tag for the day. You owe me for forgetting my birthday."_

_Al smiled as he chased after his brother through the fields in a game of tag. But somehow...somehow Ed was getting further and further away from him._

_"Ed, wait up!"_

_The sky seemed to suddenly darken overhead and Al could feel his younger self suddenly change to that of his current self. Ed seemed to be doing the same as well as he strides suddenly seemed longer. Ed appeared to vanish into thin air as the world around Al suddenly felt hostile and the grass underneath him disappeared. The sky seemed to crack, as if it would shatter any second. _

_Before he knew it, something was looming over him..._

_The gate._

_The doors were open enough to allow its shadow like arms to stretch along the outside of the gate, but not allowed to go far enough to escape. Ed was facing him, smiling a smile of glass as he held a hand out to him. "What are you waiting for, Al? I'm right here." he seemed to taunt in a familiar, snide voice that Al had heard merely hours ago. His smile seemed to be cracked in itself, as if it would shatter just like the sky. _

_Al took a few steps forward. What was he waiting for? Was this supposed to be a sign? But of what? That he would have to go through the gate and back to get his brother back?_

_But when Ed's form suddenly started fading away, Al made the split-decision to run straight toward the gate. He couldn't afford to lose Ed, not now. So as he plowed through, he heard the doors slam shut and as his vision faded to black, he thought he could hear Ed's childlike voice again._

_"What's the matter Al? Don't you want to play with me? Come on! Catch me if you can!"_


	5. Realm of Nightmares

...Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for taking so long to update! (Seriously, I did not mean to take a nearly 3 month long hiatus) But I promise, the long wait was worth it. This chapter is a little more focused on Ed than Al like in previous chapters, and once again, things get complicated. The reason there are those chapter breaks is because the setting tends to jump around so this is so you know that it's switching. Also...we are actually somewhat close to the end. I think there's two or more chapters after this one, and then after that...I don't know. I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.

_Chapter Four: Realm of Nightmares_

Ed had enough. He wanted answers and he wanted them now. His brother needed him now more than ever. Even if he didn't clearly remember him and all the events leading up to this moment, he couldn't ignore the natural brotherly instinct that seemed to have been lying dormant until now. He confidently walked through the field, determined to find a way out and find some way to get to his brother. If he found him, Ed knew that everything would suddenly make sense.

Most of all...

He really wished he could remember what his brother's _name _was.

For some reason, it was just endless field. He had thought that if he went back toward that ruined building, he would find his brother, since he had seen him through a now broken window. And yet, it never appeared, nothing but endless fields of flowers.

"Damn it." Ed cursed, foot stomping on a flower in frustration. It crumpled under his foot like a piece of paper. "Where am I supposed to go?"

On top of not being able to find anything, he was now utterly lost. More lost than he had been before, anyway.

Sighing, he started forward again. There had to be something, anything...

Suddenly, two trees appeared in front of him. They stood next to each other, the canopies of the trees leaning toward each other so that it formed an archway. All kinds of fruit hung from the trees and they seemed to be bright with color. They were very beautiful trees. Ed walked up to them, standing in front of the space where the trees seemed to create the arch. Why were these trees here?

Out of curiosity, he started to reach up for an apple on one of the trees when...

_"Don't."_

His hand hovered in the air about an inch from the apple; he looked around, ears straining to find the source of the voice. It was a new voice, but it sounded very familiar. It almost sounded like it was coming from right next to him. But as Ed looked left and right, he couldn't see anyone. Just endless field.

"Who are you?" Ed shouted.

_"...Does it matter?"_

"As a matter of fact, it does!"

_"...You wouldn't believe me if I told you who I was anyway."_

Ed gazed around the field. "Well, would you happen to be able to tell me anything useful? Like where this place is?"

There was a pause before the unknown voice spoke again.

_"Nowhere, really. More like in your head. Possibly a dream."_

Ed couldn't help but feel pissed at that. "I'm dreaming!?"

_"Maybe. Maybe not. It could be real. It could be a dream. It could all be your imagination. That's for you to judge."_

Ed groaned. He didn't have time for this! He had to find his brother! "Hey! Start making sense!"

_"You're neither dead nor alive. Merely comatose."_

He was in a coma? As Ed thought about it, it sort of made sense. It would explain why he could hear people's voices. Why he could sometimes see things. Was this world what his mind created in order to cope with the coma? "So how do I wake up?" he asked.

There was another pause before a rather cold, childish giggle broke out from the other side of the arch.

_"...You don't."_

* * *

_-Like a glass of poison  
this existence is-  
pain, needless anxiety  
Drink up, dear Brother-  
-everything will get better..._

_I promise. _

* * *

Al had made up his mind. As much as it sickened him to be doing this, he was going to meet with Envy and find out what Envy knew on the situation. Before he left though, he spent what was almost a good hour pacing around the room, asking himself if it was too late to just forget it and go back to his books for the answers.

_I think it's a little too late for that, don't you?_

The voice was an even more common occurrence now. If Al had known better, he would say that the voice was coming from himself, the more cynical side of him anyway. If he had turned out to be a bad person, would this be how he would sound and act? He had always wondered that if somewhere, deep inside of yourself, was your dark side that was built of all the rage and sorrow that you felt over the years. It seemed that with this emotional distress involving Ed, it was starting to make itself more known.

"I suppose you are right." he muttered aloud at one point, before shaking his head. God, he really needed to stop talking to himself out loud. People were going to start thinking that he was crazy.

...Ha. Haha.

He could be quite a riot sometimes.

Anyway, Al stood next to Ed's bed, watching Ed for any noticeable signs of life. Awkward pauses before he could see the chest move in response to his lungs. Ed's eyes looked a little more cloudy than usual for some reason, as if there was a very dim fire giving off a lot of smoke behind his eyes. Al tried to put on what he thought was a reassuring smile as he patted Ed's hand.

"I'm going to go out for a little while. I might have found a way to make you better again. I'll be back soon, I promise."

Ed's head suddenly turned by a fraction to look at him. He was giving Al a look that seemed to say, "Don't you dare leave me."

Al couldn't help but flinch at Ed's expression. "I'm...I'm not leaving you, Brother." he couldn't help but say aloud, as if Ed really had muttered those words.

Ed's eyes seemed to narrow ever so slightly at him, as if he was saying, "I don't believe you."

The imaginary words seem to hang in the air challengingly, almost mockingly.

"I swear it, I will come back. Nothings going to happen." Al said as determined as possible, but after saying the words out loud, he wished he hadn't. Fear was starting to claw at him again. How did he really know that Envy wouldn't just kill Al when he showed up? The whole thing could just be a trap, not like he hadn't thought about that before.

But...Envy knew something about why Ed ended up like this and possibly how to get him back.

"Umm...Brother?" he seemed to ask, as if waiting for Ed's approval to speak, but then he plowed on anyway, "In case I don't come back right away...I just want you to know that...I love you."

When had he last said those words to Ed? And why was he saying them now?

Suddenly, Al yelped in pain as he jerked his hand away from Ed's. It felt as if an electric charge had gone through Ed and zapped Al. Al had to fight back tears as he checked his hand. It had been painful, like touching an electric fence. There was no mark, but his hand was stinging like tiny little needles punctured in them. There was an odd screeching noise ringing in his ears, that seemed to remind him of a wounded animal.

Al quickly and quietly backed away from Ed before leaving the room, closing the door behind him. What the heck had happened? Was it just static shock or something? Al breathed in deeply before beginning to head down the stairs.

He would be getting the answers soon enough.

* * *

_-You can keep telling yourself that nothing more can possibly go wrong...  
...That doesn't mean that you'll successfully convince yourself that everything is going to be OK-_

* * *

"What do you mean I don't!?" Ed roared in anger. He punched the tree nearest to him as hard as he could, feeling no pain in his fist, despite the open wound that had appeared across his knuckles.

He didn't receive an answer in return. It seemed that the voice had vanished on him; had no more interest in him. He growled as he reached up and yanked an apple off the tree. It was bright red and it seemed to sparkle in the light of the non-existent sun. He vaguely noticed the blood from his hand dripping on to the apple, running down it and dripping off in a slightly fascinating and morbid way. The drops hit the ground and stained the grass blood-red before vanishing into the earth.

Ed contemplated on what would happen if he ate the apple. When he had been in this strange world, he had never felt the need to eat, so seeing food for the first time since being here had less of an appeal than he thought it would. He tried to imagine what it would taste like. For some reason, a juicy and yet incredibly bitter taste came to mind.

"What am I thinking? This is getting me nowhere!" In mental disgust, he chucked the apple as hard as he could between the archway of the trees...

...where it promptly disappeared instead of coming out through the other side. Ed had to stop himself from shouting in shock. He quickly ran around to the other side of the trees, and didn't see the apple on the ground. Where had it gone to? He circled back around to the other side of the trees, facing the archway. Was there something hidden through the space between the trees?

_"If you wish to find out, go ahead. However, I can't say that I didn't warn you."_

OK, he really didn't have time to play head games with voices in his head. "Fine, maybe I will."

_"As you wish. However, I must say, you'll just be even more miserable if you go through."_

"I don't really care." He really didn't by this point. "Unless you give me a more explicit reason not to go through it, then I'm going to ignore you."

The voice was silent once more for a few seconds before it spoke up one last time in a vaguely ominous tone.

_"Some call it the Realm of Nightmares. Others call it the Gate of Truth. I'm sure you're familiar with that term, aren't you Edward Elric?"_

* * *

_-Every world is full of pain  
I can hear your voice somewhere-_

_I can only see eternity  
When I'm moving..._

* * *

A candle served as the only light in the cave. It seemed to have been lit for quite sometime as the wax was merely a stub of what it once was.

Soon, the candle gently blew out, leaving a faint, wispy trail in the dark.

Suddenly, an opening appeared, bringing light into the cave, despite being blocked by a figure. The light spilled across the blown out candle and the lithe figure that was waiting inside the cave. The figure smirked at it's visitor.

"So you've finally arrived. I was getting tired of waiting, Al. Shall we get started?"

* * *

_The what ifs and what could of been. That is what the Gate truly shows us as it bends space, playing with the fabric of time to attempt the most entertaining results of human life. It is much like a writer that writes two different endings to see which one will play out better and receive more reviews. It's the ends that justify the means as they say and those that wish for a tragic ending, yet with the best alternative than another will twist the threads of fate into their favor. It is best not to question the what might have happened for otherwise the Gate will show you an ending even worse than the one you're currently heading for. _

* * *

That was all Ed needed to hear. He took a deep breath and crossed through the arch. After all, if this was the Gate, the one that had been lying deep inside of him, then it would hold the truth to everything, including his brother. And at the moment, he was willing to risk anything. After all, he was stuck inside of his own head. What more could he lose?

He appeared on the outskirts of a field by a tiny cemetery to his left. A couple of houses could be seen dotting the countryside. Everything looked...familiar. He took a couple of paces toward the little graves that lay like decorative rocks rather than markers of the dead. It was with a sudden clarity as he realized exactly where he was as he slowly fell to his knees in front of one of the graves.

A smile twitched at the corner of his lips. "Sorry for not visiting as often as I used to, Mom. Things got crazy and a little carried away. I lost control of a situation I never really had control over and now I don't know how to fix it."

The grave of Trisha Elric remained as silent as ever. He pulled himself into a better sitting position, arms hugging around his knees. "My memory's a train wreck, I'm hearing voices in my head, and I failed the most important person in my life; my own brother. I remember him, but I can't remember little things, like his name of all things. Man, did I royally screw up." he chuckled, rather amused with himself for having a conversation with his mother's grave. Sure, he knew he used to do so in the past, but at the moment, it was rather hilarious. "I can almost hear that Colonel Bastard laughing at me..."

He stopped, wincing at the sudden thought. This was the first time he had ever given any real thought to other people besides himself and his brother. Oh god...how much pain were they in right now because of his careless mistakes? Mustang...Auntie...Winry...

It made him feel guilty and selfish.

Ed bowed his head, still smiling, even as tears began to fall. "You must be really disappointed in me..."

"Eh? Why would Mom be disappointed in you, Brother?"

Ed froze. That voice...

He slowly looked around at the person that had appeared next to him. He looked like his duplicate except with dusty blonde, practically light brunette hair that was shorter than Ed's. He had kind eyes and was smiling warmly. "Well, Brother?"

Ed's eyes widened as a soundless name was whispered in the wind.

* * *

_I recognise this ruined town  
It was in the stack of photos I looked through with you_

_Why am I alone, why am I alone?  
Right away, right away, I realise it's a dream_

_I run through the rubble, kicking something out of the way  
Looking for a way out of this dream_

* * *

"Hello?"

"F-Fuhrer Mustang!"

"...Winry?"

"I...I...I was checking on him and I..."

"Winry, calm down and explain what's going on."

"I went upstairs to check on him and...he vanished!"

"What!? Are you sure about that?"

"Y-yes. I walked in and found the window wide open and he was nowhere to be found!"

"Ok, I'm sure that Al is just taking a walk to-"

"I already know about that!"

"Then...wait, what do you-?"

"Al left several minutes ago to go for a walk. I came upstairs to check on Ed, but he's not there! It's like he got up and left without anyone noticing!"

"Ed's disappeared!?"

"Y-yes, and I can't find him! I tried to find Al to tell him, but I couldn't find him either!"

"Hold on, I'll be taking the next train there ASAP. They'll have to turn up somewhere."

* * *

_I want to melt-  
-My head hurts._

_I want to hear you say "I'll protect you"  
I want to break out  
I want to laugh  
I want to make a start_

* * *

Pale, chalky hands pushed the window open. After a few seconds, a boy with milky gold eyes appeared in the window, leaning heavily against the ledge, appearing very weak and tired. His eyes were half-open and he appeared to be delirious, looking at something only he could see. He scrambled on to the ledge, fingers glistening with sweat in the sunlight, much like his face. He didn't even glance at the ground below him, continuing to stare off into the sky.

His voice, which sounded like it hadn't been used in a very long time, whispered in a cracked, painfilled voice.

"...Al."

His sky suddenly came into contact with the ground.


	6. Heart Failure

Well...this is the last chapter of "By My Side". Surprised, eh? Yep, this is a pretty short story. Then there will be the epilogue and then this story will be complete! But ah...please don't hurt me. Especially after this chapter. (hides) I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.

_Chapter Five: Heart Failure_

"I didn't think you would actually show up."

Al didn't answer, as much as he'd like to answer with, "Well, you were wrong."

Instead, he took careful steps toward the person sitting on the rock closest to the entrance he had just come through. The old Resembool caves were like an interweaving set of tunnels that traveled underneath the city and it was quite easy to get lost in them. They had, at one time, been a mining area and soon after, a secret hideaway for children to play, but the officials soon closed off the caves for fear of the rock walls collapsing and injuring someone inside. However, that didn't stop Al, who had simply ducked under the large cardboard sign screaming "KEEP OUT; DANGER OF COLLAPSE" at him and navigated through the old tunnels until a voice had called out to him, signaling that he had arrived at the designated spot.

"I'm surprised. You've changed quite a bit since your brother took a turn for the worst, didn't he?" Envy asked, tone casual as if they were talking about the weather. Al didn't say anything as he continued, "Normally your brother would be furious and against you coming here alone to meet the likes of me. You've become quite the risk taker now that the Fullmetal Pipsqueak is currently incapable of telling you what to do, let alone feeding himself." he added with a laugh.

"Just tell me what you know." Al said, not in the mood for games. Envy threw his hands up in the air as a shrug.

"Can't one make light conversation first before getting down to business?"

"If you're just wasting my time, then I'm leaving." Al said, surprisingly bold despite the imminent threat of death that hang in the air. _We don't have much time,_ the voice agreed with him.

Suddenly, something grazed past Al's cheek, puncturing the wall an inch from his left. He glanced sideways as Envy's arm, changed to the shape of a sharp spike, was embedded in the wall and that Envy had moved closer without Al noticing. Al could feel a cut forming on his cheek and a drop of blood running down and dripping off his face. Envy sighed.

"If you're so insistant, we'll make this short. But I would watch your tongue. Your brother isn't here to protect you if I should decide to get violent, you know."

His arm removed itself from the wall and he began to steer Al toward an opening in the caves to Al's left. "Let's make sure no trouble-making kids wandering around overhears us, shall we?"

Al didn't resist, his thoughts too preoccupied on getting one step closer to fixing Ed.

* * *

"Al?"

Al blinked at Ed. "Uh, yes?" He looked very confused. But Ed either didn't notice or care. He remembered! He remembered his name.

"Al..."

Without thinking about it, he turned and hugged Al around the legs, who was now starting to look alarmed. "Brother? Brother, what's wrong?"

"I'm back...I made it back..." he whispered to himself, but Al had appeared to have heard him.

"Of course you are. We finished our journey and came home, remember?" Al smiled in a rather patronizing manner.

Ed thought for a minute. Journey...oh yeah...they had gotten Al's body back...

"You're weird sometimes, you know that?" Al chuckled as he held a hand out to help Ed up. Ed took it, smiling as Al helped him to his feet. As soon as he was standing, he hugged Al again.

"Man Brother, you've only been gone for a few hours. Did you miss me or something?"

A few hours? Ed's brow furrowed ever so slightly. Odd. He had been under the impression that he had been asleep for much longer. But yes, he missed his brother very much. "Sorry. Just...happy." he offered as an explanation. Al seemed to buy it. Ed let go of him and they started walking down the path. Al was whistling a little tune and Ed followed behind him. He was back! Everyone would be happy, right?

But Ed suddenly realized that they were not walking toward their home, instead Al suddenly took a sharp turn and went in the opposite direction. Ed raised an eyebrow, still following after him.

"Uh, Al? Where are you going?"

"You'll see." Al said, no, sang in a playful tone as he continued onward without turning to look at Ed, continuing to whistle that odd tune from before. Confused, Ed continued to follow him until he noticed, from looking around them, that they were now a ways off from the house. In fact, if memory served him correctly, (which, he remembered that lately, it hadn't, but that wasn't the point) they appeared to be heading toward the old caves they used to play in when they were younger.

"Why are we going to the caves?" Ed asked. But Al didn't answer him, still whistling, which was now starting to grate on Ed's nerves, not because it was annoying, but because the tune Al was whistling sounded _familiar_, yet Ed couldn't remember where he had heard it from. When they reached the entrance of the caves, Al calmly ducked under the cardboard sign placed across the entrance, pausing only to wait for Ed to follow him in.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Ed asked, suddenly apprehensive. Something didn't seem right about this. Al merely smiled.

"Don't you trust me?"

"Of course." Ed automatically answered. _Al knows what he's doing_, Ed reasoned with himself as he ducked under the sign to stand next to Al.

**No, no he doesn't.**

Ed froze, looking around at the sudden voice. It sounded like the one that he had heard before waking up. He looked over at Al, who looked like he hadn't heard anything. _What the hell?_

**If you think he knows what he's doing, then why did you follow him?**

_Because he's my brother. Why wouldn't I follow him?_

**Why?**

_Because...I have to help him._

**Why?**

_He's...he's in trouble..._

Suddenly his head started to throb painfully. Where had that thought come from? He put a hand to his head, the action unnoticed by Al, who had slowly begun to walk ahead of him. When he didn't follow after, Al turned.

"Aren't you coming?" Al asked.

But for Ed, it felt like he suddenly had weights strapped to his ankles, making it harder for him to walk. Everything suddenly seemed louder; he could even hear an erratic heartbeat ringing in his ears. Whose was it? When he looked up at Ed, trying to say something, he noticed that everything seemed to be flickering. One minute, Al is standing in front of him looking concerned, the next he's standing alone in an abandoned cave. Al suddenly grinned.

"You're so slow, Big Brother! You're never going to make it in time if you don't hurry up!" he chided before spinning on his heel and running off ahead of him.

"W-wait!" Ed shouted, quickly attempting to run after him, despite the sudden weakness in his legs. When was the last time he had ever ran? As he ran, Al in front of him never looked back nor said anything else, simply running as if guiding him to something on ahead. It felt like he had been running forever. Since when could Al run like that? Did this path ever end?

Eventually, Al stopped at the entrance to another part of the caves and Ed was forced to collapse on his knees, leaning against the wall next to him.

"Why...did you bring me here?" Ed asked, gasping for breath. Why did it suddenly feel like every breath he took was ripping through his lungs? And when did that heartbeat suddenly get louder? Was that blood dripping from the corner of his lips? Why did his body feel like he had...

_...fallen out of a window?_

But Al simply looked down on him before smiling. It was small and sad. For a second, the words _"Gymnopedia, 1st Act",_ the name of the tune that Al had been whistling a moment before, came to mind.

And then he vanished.

Before Ed could even comprehend what had just happened, he suddenly heard a very familiar scream.

* * *

As Al stood, looking around the empty caves he had been lead to, he said, "So, what did you have to tell me?"

He didn't receive an answer.

Just then, right when he realized that he had had his back to Envy,

right when he felt something sharp pierced straight through his shoulder,

right when he saw the blood splatter against the rock walls,

he became aware of something a little too late.

It was quiet. Too quiet.

The voice that had been in his head for several months had disappered.

It is replaced with a scream of pain.

* * *

_/If I can make my way to the other side of sorrow  
Then I don't need warmth or tomorrow anymore/_

* * *

"Father's orders. Now that you're brother's brain-dead, there's no reason to keep you alive anymore."

At least, that's what he thinks he hears as he slides to the ground, hand clutched over the hole in his chest. His blood is all over his hand and he can taste the metallic substance in his mouth. Despite the pain he's in right now, his mind has strangely never been more clear. As if the physical pain has made it able to see through a clouded fog.

_I'm going to die..._

Everyone knows they are going to die someday. But somehow, deep down, from the moment he had walked into the caves, he had known that it would be that day. Maybe he had hoped for something like this to happen, for something to stop the voice in his head and to just end it. Maybe deep down he had thought that Ed was, as Envy put it, brain-dead, so Al was better off physically dead? Maybe he just didn't care anymore.

But...

_He watched as a baby bluebird brushed against Ed's fingertips and is amazed at the small smile that had momentarily appeared on his face..._

He temporarily removes his hand from his chest and attempts to draw a circle on the ground in his blood. He couldn't die. Not now. He couldn't leave Ed behind. Not when he had promised...

"Perhaps I'll just leave you here to bleed to death..."

He slams his palm on the ground, attempting to send a rock spike up through the ground at Envy. He doesn't even have to turn around to know that it missed, judging from Envy's laughter.

"Still have some fight in you? Alright, I'm not in any hurry. I'll be sure to enjoy this..."

Al's eyes widen as he feels the sharp object from before pierce through his shoulder again, digging through and making the hole wider. Al can feel blood choking him as it wells up in his throat. His ears are ringing with Envy's laughter.

"Your brother's not here to save you this time!"

Again, at least that's what he thinks he said again. It's getting hard to really focus. His vision blurs around the edges. This is too much. Why isn't he dead yet?

I tried to save you...but I...Brother...

Suddenly, he became aware that it was suddenly quiet. Envy had stopped laughing.

"You..."

Al twisted his head around to see what was going on. Something metallic was at Envy's throat, cutting into it.

"S-stay away..."

Suddenly, there is a sickening noise of something tearing as the object slices through Envy's neck, cutting his head off. Envy's body collapses, eyes wide as his head rolls away.

"...from my brother!"

And there, standing in his place, legs shaking like a leaf in a storm, blood splattered on his face, shirt, and automail, was Ed.

* * *

He wasn't sure when his feet had moved. When he had clapped his hands and drew the automail blade. He only remembers Al's screams, seeing blood everywhere, and his heartbeat becoming even more erratic in his ears.

* * *

"Brother..."

The word falls from his lips. It can't be. It just couldn't be. He's dead and he's imagining all this.

But Ed suddenly collapses on his knees, a hand clutched to his chest. His breathing is erratic, as if he can't get any air in. But he still manages to crawl over to Al, automail blade scrapping on the ground as he reaches him.

"A-Al..."

"Brother? Is it...is it really you?" Al asked, placing a free hand on Ed's shoulders.

Ed lifts his head up. He looks tired and in pain, but Al recognizes the eyes. They're his alright. Not someone elses, nor that empty gold like before. A small smile pulls at the corner of Ed's lips.

"I-I...I sure hope so." he says, "O-otherwise...I wouldn't of...m-made it in time..."

And soon they're both crying, hugging each other with their good arms, kneeling on the floor in pools of blood despite a decapitated body laying on the ground somewhere nearby.

"Y-you have no idea...h-how worried I was..." Al gasps, choking on tears and blood.

"I-I could say the same you know." Ed pointed out.

"This is...this is too unreal. Are you really-?"

But Al stops, clutching his chest in pain. He looks up at Ed, attempting to smile.

"I-I guess I w-went too far." he attempts to laugh. Despite the looming threat of death hanging overhead, Ed actually smiles.

"I-I guess I did too." he says, hearing his heart racing like a hamster in a wheel.

"F-Fuhrer Mustang and W-Winry will be surprised, won't they?" Al says, almost as if having a conversation about the weather.

Ed made a face. "H-he's the Fuhrer now?"

"Y-yeah?"

"T-then whoever elected him t-to that position are a b-bunch of idiots."

Al laughs. How can they be joking so freely, when death's door is only a few feet away?

"H-how did you...?" Al starts to ask, but can't seem to finish the question; his head is spinning too badly. But Ed seems to know what he's getting at.

"I'm not sure. M-maybe...your voice finally woke me up..."

"Brother..."

But then Al trails off as if realizing something. "W-where did Envy go?"

Just as they had noticed that Envy's body had disappeared did they become aware of the rumbling of the caves.

* * *

_/If I can make my way to the other side of sorrow  
Then I'd like to not feel anything beyond this anymore/_

* * *

_There was a reason the caves had been closed off_, Al remembered.

Danger of them caving in.

As rocks fell all around them, blocking off the exit, Al weighed their options. Both of them were dying and barely had the energy to remain awake, let alone making an exit. Even if they did, Al had the feeling it would be in vain. He was probably going to be dead within a few minutes anyway. Ed was in no shape either. If anything, his organs were probably damaged from being in a coma for so long. It had been a miracle for him to even come here, let alone waking up.

In short, they were going to die. There. In those caves.

Despite this, Al felt rather calm. It was all finally coming to an end. And he had been right.

Ed was still here.

Ed seemed to be accepting the finality of the situation too. He looked tired, breathing as erratic as his heartbeat that even Al could hear.

_At least we're together_, Al thought to himself. He smiled a little, leaning against the wall next to them.

"Hey Brother..."

"Hmm?"

"What was it like?"

Ed looked thoughtful for a moment, knowing what Al was asking. "...Nice, I suppose. It was rather peaceful and quiet. But it was really lonely. Until one day I heard your voice. And it made things better."

"...I'm glad you're back." Al said, closing his eyes. _This is unreal. I must already be dead. We're both dead. My mind's so far gone that I'm imagining all this. This is a dream. This is reality. Which is it?_

"Me too." Ed said. And he was. Even if it was just for this one last moment.

They didn't say anything, or maybe they couldn't, as rocks fell around them. After a few minutes, Al spoke up.

"Brother?"

"Yeah?"

"...See you on the other side, right?"

What he had meant to say was "I'm sorry", but for some reason, it didn't matter anymore, the things Al had said and done these past few months. Not even what had happened to Envy mattered anymore. What mattered was the here and now.

But Ed just laughed. "This time we'll both be there."

Al smiled, and Ed became aware of someones fading heartbeat. His? Al's?

"Al..."

"Brother?"

"...I love you." The last three words of Edward Elric.

Just as the ceiling collapsed on top of them, just as he was sure his heart had finally come to a grinding halt, Ed thought he heard Al reply with a "Me too."

* * *

_/If I can make my way to the other side of sorrow  
Then I won't even fear the lonely slumber anymore.../_

* * *

In the depths of sleep, Ed thought he could hear the faint sounds of butterfly wings in the distance.

_Perhaps it was the remnants of a nostalgic dream..._


	7. Epilogue: By My Side

And it's done! Thank you everyone for reading this story and reviewing it, but now I'm afraid our story must draw to a close. I know the last chapter was...depressing, but this should help bring some peace to it. I can't wait to write many more Fullmetal Alchemist stories in the future. Hopefully they will have brighter and happier endings than this one. I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. (And yes, the letter from the first chapter is repeated again, but for a reason)

_It hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn't match what you dreamed it would be.-Randy K. Milholland_

_Epilogue: By My Side_

_They say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes._

_Sometimes only one moment makes a difference._

* * *

"Brother!"

"Huh? What?" Ed flung his arms about as if he was fending off some attacker.

"You fell asleep."

Ed sleepily looked around from the spot against the tree he was sitting at. "Oh...oh yeah." he chuckled, looking up at the large suit of armor in front of him. Ed stood up, stretching his arms above his head. "Shall we get going?"

"I suppose, but if you're still tired..."

Truthfully he was, but he didn't want Al worrying. "No no, I'm fine. Let's go."

They began walking down the path they had paused to rest by the side of the road during their trip to the city they were assigned to, a city that didn't have trains. They had been walking for some time when Al suggested to take a break by a tree that was nearby, and Ed had agreed. Maybe that was when he had fallen asleep.

Ed frowned as they walked. He couldn't really remember the dream he had when he was asleep, but he knew that it had something to do with their most recent failed attempt at acquiring the Philosopher's Stone. And something had happened to Al.

He hadn't even realized that his pace had slowed down until Al spoke up. "Brother?"

"Hmm?"

"Is something wrong?"

Ed didn't reply, lapsing into silence for a few minutes before saying, "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"...A dream I had."

Al could see where this was going as Ed continued, "Al, I'm sorry that I haven't gotten your body back yet."

"Don't worry about that Brother. Remember, we have to get your arm and leg back first. Right?"

Ed allowed himself a small smile at Al's continued selflessness. "Right." he echoed. An idea suddenly came to him. "Hey Al, hold still for a second."

"W-wait Brother, what are you-"

Ed climbed up on to Al's back. "OK, now go."

"Brother!"

"What?"

"I thought you got too old for me carrying you. Besides, that's really selfish. Gah...you must still be tired or something."

Ed ignored him as he looked around at the area around them. "Nice view from up here." he cheekily grinned down at Al. Al didn't say anything, until...

"Was it a bad dream?"

"Huh?"

"The dream you had."

Ed frowned. "I guess. I don't really remember most of it."

"I see."

There was a pause before Ed spoke up again. "Al?"

"Yes?"

"I promise that I will get your body back. And then we'll get our own house...maybe get some cats..."

"Brother..."

"So don't worry about me and just worry about yourself, OK? I don't want you to do anything reckless...and end up leaving me behind." Ed said, more to himself than to Al. For a second, Al was afraid that Ed might actually be crying.

"Leave you? I would never do that!"

Ed didn't say anything, so Al pressed on. "Fine. But you have to promise me the same. You can't leave me behind either."

"It's a promise!" Ed nodded, feeling strangely better, despite the strange hollow feeling that was forming in his stomach. He smiled as he wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve, and he had a feeling that if Al could smile, he would be too. Suddenly, a butterfly fluttered in Ed's face, landing on his nose. Ed sputtered as the butterfly quickly flew off and out of range from his swinging arms. Al laughed at his antics and Ed eventually joined in even though it was at his own expense. Al listened to Ed's laughter, thinking to himself.

_As long as you're by my side, Brother, we'll always be together, no matter what._

* * *

"Isn't it great outside, Brother?" Al asked, smiling what he hoped was a cheerful smile as he twisted to look down at Ed from where he was sitting in the wheelchair. Ed didn't react to Al's words as he continued to stare blankly ahead. Al was still smiling even as his fingers tightened on the wheelchair. "Well, it certainly is a nice day, not all humid and muggy like how it has been the past few weeks. In fact..."

He continued to rattle on, despite the fact that he knew Ed wasn't listening to him, or couldn't anyway.

"Anyway...I know you'll get better someday. Even if the others have given up, at least you'll always have me."

Somehow this made him feel a little better. Ed would never be alone, despite the others that had moved on. He watched, waiting for a reaction from Ed. Ed moved his head ever so slightly so that he appeared to be staring at a tree nearby. Al found himself looking too. A family of bluebirds were twittering on one of the tree branches closest to them. He watched for a few seconds longer before the birds suddenly took off, flying far away.

_It seems the bluebird has flown out of our lives_, Al couldn't help but think. He watched Ed, who looked to be what could be mistaken as disappointment on his features.

Suddenly, a bluebird appeared from nowhere, landing on the armrest of Ed's wheelchair. They looked at it as it twittered, looking here and there at it's new landing post. It appeared to be a very young bluebird, maybe one that had just recently left the nest. It looked up at Ed, it's beady eyes matching his.

And then, to Al's amazement, he thought he saw a small smile appear on Ed's face as the bluebird twitched it's thin legs against Ed's fingertips.

_Maybe there was still hope after all._

* * *

_Dear Fuhrer Mustang,_

_I've gotten used to calling you that now, but I bet that Ed would still be referring to you as a colonel anyway! How is Miss Hawkeye, or should I say "Mrs. Mustang"? By the way, congratulations on getting married! I'm sorry that I couldn't attend the wedding. Winry told me about it though. It sounded great. _

_Brother is making a little progress. I took him outside yesterday, and for a few minutes, I saw him smiling! It took a little while coming back inside, he just looked so happy being outside in the sunny weather. _

_Maybe someday he'll tell me why he was smiling that day. _

_I think maybe he was just relaxed about living in Resembool again. No more dangerous missions and enemies to worry about anymore. Things are finally peaceful for the two of us. _

_I know that it seems hard taking care of Ed, but it's OK. I know people think he's not "there", but I know he is. He's just sleeping, that's all. And I know he'll wake up and get better someday and things will be right again._

_Anyway, I just wanted to update you on how well I'm doing and wondering how you are. I'll let you know if there has been any more changes in Brother. _

_Yours respectfully,_

_Alphonse Elric._

* * *

The facts were these:

No one really knows what happened to the Elric Brothers. To most, it seems like they vanished off the face of the earth. To others, like the citizens of Resembool, many rumors flew about as to their fate. One story was that the older brother died and the younger's mental health declined to the point of committing suicide. Another version of the same story was that the older brother was in a coma and never woke up while the younger brother simply disappeared, never to be heard from again. There is even a story that it was the opposite; that the younger brother had died and the older had fallen into the pits of depression and insanity.

The age of the stories of the Fullmetal Alchemist and the journey of two brothers has long since past, simply slipped through the cracks and only brought up by those who vaguely remembered them and had heard nothing of their deaths.

But to the very few who truly knew them best, they know of a story, of the older brother miraculously waking up and once again risking everything to save his younger brother, and the two had tragically died from exhaustion and illness, both mental and physically. The official story was "a cave in" when told to others, after they had managed to dig their way through and find them, in a small pocket of space that had actually protected them from the falling rocks. Autopsy revealed stab wound for the younger, organ failure, more specifically heart attack for the older. They were buried next to each other; next to their mother.

What had happened in the cave? How did Ed wake up from an eight-month coma? Had there been a witness to these strange events? Those are the only questions no one can answer, except for the very people that had been there during the event. And they're all dead, one presumed dead but possibly missing, if they had ever really been there at all. No one really stopped to answer, and life painfully moved on.

However, one year after their deaths, the villagers were, quite frankly, baffled when they stepped outside. Thousands upon thousands of firefly grass had mysteriously sprung up across nearly every square inch of empty fields stretching to the edge of Resembool. It was an anomaly that no one could explain, and the only offered suggestion was that someone had planted them overnight. But who? And how could they possibly have been able to cover nearly all of Resembool? Alchemy, sure. But that didn't explain who and why it had been done.

Although, some did take notice of how the largest and most beautiful of the mysterious flowers had bloomed around the Elric brother's graves.

* * *

_There is a legend that says if one holds firefly grass to his chest and prays,  
Then the person he's thinking of will be able to feel it…_

_Do you believe in this too?_

_…Even if I didn't have firefly grass, if we were to be separated,  
Brother would be able to feel my thoughts…_

_Yes…he definitely would…_

**The End**


End file.
